I hardly got within pistol shot of the place.

Decked out as I was, I walked towards a cottage, from whose chimney smoke rose. However, I hardly got within pistol shot of the place before I found myself surrounded by a mob of completely naked men, who seemed surprised to see me. I don't think they'd ever seen someone dressed in bottles, whose feet barely touched the ground; with my every movement, the dew in my remaining bottles caught the Sun's rays and made me bob up and down. Had I more of them, I am sure I'd have risen up into the air before them.

I would have spoken with them, but in a twinkling they were gone, like birds scattering among the trees. However, I caught one whose legs had doubtless failed his heart, and with a deal of difficulty - the forest was suffocating - I asked him how far we were from Paris, and since when the people of France went about in the total nude, and why he'd fled in such obvious terror?

He was an old, olive-skinned man, who sank before me and joined his hands behind his head, mouth open, eyes shut. He spoke, but I could make nothing of it; he mumbled like a mute.

A while later, though, I saw a company of soldiers, marching to the drum. A couple of them noticed me, and peeled away to investigate. When they were within distance, I hailed them.

'Where are we?'

'You are in France', they replied. 'But what the Devil are you doing going about like that? Have we seen you before? Are you from the fleet, has it made land? And are you bringing word to the governor? And why are you carrying your aqua vit in lots of little bottles like that?'

'The Devil has nothing to do with my dress', I said, 'and you don't recognise me, because who really knows everyone? I have no idea what ships were moored along the Seine, and so I have no news for the Marechal de l'Hospital. Oh, and these bottles are not charged with brandy.'

'Ho! Ho!' they said as they pinioned my arms, 'Fine, play the fool! Let's see if the Governor knows you.'

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A Journey to the Moon

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I could tell Mr. Printer - if I dare be so bold - that he had more Tongue than Wit.

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The Thrice-Greatest Intellingencer.

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Paul Summers Young

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