I hardly got within pistol shot of the place.

Decked out as I was, I walked towards a cottage, from whose chimney smoke rose. However, I hardly got within pistol shot of the place before I found myself surrounded by a mob of completely naked men, who seemed surprised to see me. I don't think they'd ever seen someone dressed in bottles, whose feet barely touched the ground; with my every movement, the dew in my remaining bottles caught the Sun's rays and made me bob up and down. Had I more of them, I am sure I'd have risen up into the air before them.

I would have spoken with them, but in a twinkling they were gone, like birds scattering among the trees. However, I caught one whose legs had doubtless failed his heart, and with a deal of difficulty - the forest was suffocating - I asked him how far we were from Paris, and since when the people of France went about in the total nude, and why he'd fled in such obvious terror?

He was an old, olive-skinned man, who sank before me and joined his hands behind his head, mouth open, eyes shut. He spoke, but I could make nothing of it; he mumbled like a mute.

A while later, though, I saw a company of soldiers, marching to the drum. A couple of them noticed me, and peeled away to investigate. When they were within distance, I hailed them.

'Where are we?'

'You are in France', they replied. 'But what the Devil are you doing going about like that? Have we seen you before? Are you from the fleet, has it made land? And are you bringing word to the governor? And why are you carrying your aqua vit in lots of little bottles like that?'

'The Devil has nothing to do with my dress', I said, 'and you don't recognise me, because who really knows everyone? I have no idea what ships were moored along the Seine, and so I have no news for the Marechal de l'Hospital. Oh, and these bottles are not charged with brandy.'

'Ho! Ho!' they said as they pinioned my arms, 'Fine, play the fool! Let's see if the Governor knows you.'

Comments

Robert Plot, first Keeper of the Ashmolean, on mysterious circles, from 'The Natural History of Staffordshire' (Oxford, 1686).

And here perchance, by the way, it may be no great digression to enquire into the nature and efficient cause of those rings we find in the grass, which they commonly call fairy circles, whether they are caused by lighning, or are indeed the rendezvouzes of witches , or the dancing places of those little pygmy spirits they call elves or fairies . And the rather because, 1 - a question - perhaps by reason of the difficulty - scarce yet attempted, and 2 - because I met with the largest of their kind - that perchance were ever heard of - in this county; one of them showed me in the grounds between Handsworth Church and the heath being near forty yards diameter, and I was told of another by that ingenious gent. - one of the most cordial encouragers of this work - the Worshipful Sir Henry Gough, Knight, that there was one in his grounds near Pury-Hall but few years since - now indeed plowed up - of a much larger size, he believed near fifty. Whereas,...

Carrying about them the Lively Image of Satan in Serpentine Colours.

THE ROUTING OF THE RANTERS Being a full relation of their uncivil carriages and blasphemous words and actions at their mad meetings, their several kind of music, dances and riotings, and their belief and opinions concerning heaven and hell. With their examinations taken before a Justice of Peace, and a letter or summons sent to their sisters or fellow creatures in the name of the Devil, requiring them to meet Belzebub, Lucifer, Pluto and twenty more of the infernal spirits at the time and place appointed. Also, a true description how they may be known in all companies, and the names of the chief ringleaders of this new generation that excel all others in wickedness. Published by authority and printed by K.A. The Ranters' Ranting or A True Relation of a sort of people called Ranters, with some of their abominable and wicked carriages and behaviour at their private meetings. I shall in the first place give you my friends a brief character of a sort of people (whereof you desire sat...

Give me thy cake! Signs and Wonders from Heaven (1645).

Signs and Wonders from Heaven, with a true relation of a monster born in Ratcliffe Highway at the sign of the Three Arrows, Mistress Bullock the midwife delivering here thereof. Also, showing how a cat kittened a monster in Lombard Street in London. Likewise, a new discovery of witches in Stepney parish, and how twenty witches more were executed in Suffolk this last assize. Also, how the Devil came to Soffam to a farmer's house in the habit of a gentlewoman on horseback. With divers other strange remarkable passages. Printed at London by I.H. 1645. IT IS a known thing to all Christian people which are capable of understanding how that the sins of the world have in a high degree offended the world's maker, and provoked the Lord to anger, yet has the Devil so blinded the eyes, and hardened the hearts of many men and women, that they cannot or will not see nor take notice of their own iniquities, but rather seem to excuse themselves of those errors which they everyd...

Paul Summers Young

Search This Blog