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Give me thy cake! Signs and Wonders from Heaven (1645).




Signs and Wonders from Heaven,
with a true relation of a monster
born in Ratcliffe Highway
at the sign of the Three Arrows,
Mistress Bullock the midwife
delivering here thereof. 
Also, 
showing how a cat kittened
a monster
in Lombard Street
in London.
Likewise,
a new discovery of witches
in  Stepney parish,
and how twenty witches more
were executed in Suffolk
this last assize.
Also, 
how the Devil
came to Soffam
to a farmer's house
in the habit of a gentlewoman
on horseback.
With divers other strange
remarkable passages.

Printed at London
by I.H.
1645.

IT IS a known thing to all Christian people
which are capable of understanding
how that the sins of the world have in a high degree
offended the world's maker,
and provoked the Lord to anger,
yet has the Devil so blinded the eyes,
and hardened the hearts of many men and women,
that they cannot or will not see nor take notice
of their own iniquities,
but rather seem to excuse themselves
of those errors which they everyday run into.

One will say,
what though the Lord has laid his punishing hand
upon the kingdom,
is it my fault?
I am no swearer nor drunkard,
no covetous person, 
no profaner of the Lord's Sabbath,
and yet peradventure
he that thus justifies himself is guily of these,
and more than are here named. 

Another will be apt to say thus:
If it be sin that has brought the sword,
or the plague, 
or any other judgement upon us,
'tis not for any sins of mine,
'tis wrong of such a Lord,
or wrong of such a magistrate
that the Lord has punished the land. 

Others have said,
'tis wrong of the King
that the whole nation is so grievously troubled,
for, say they,
if the King had stayed with his Parliament,
we had been all at peace and quiet.
And thus do many people flatter themselves,
and lay the blame on others.
But of this I am certainly persuaded
that it is not only for one man's sins,
but it is for everyone's sins
that the Lord has caused 
the sword to be drawn amongst us.

Further more, I observe that the Lord had decreed
a separation between the King and his Parliament
before the wars began in England
for the sins of the whole nation.
That the Lord is angry with us, everyone, 
for our sins do appear in this:
do we not see
that the bloody wars 
do more and morei increase
in our Three Kingdoms,
whereby every man's heart even trembles to think
what shall become of them?

Do we not know that the plague of pestilemce
does daily annoy our cities, towns and countries,
and what great numbers have died
in Bristol, Abingdon, and many places more?

Do we not hear continual clamour in our ears?

How famine will follow after the sword,
except the Lord will in mercy stay the rage of our enemies?

It is said that pestilence, the sword and famine 
are the searchers wherewith the Lord draws blood of sinners;
is there then any particular man or woman amongst us all,
but either at one time or other has felt the smart of one,
if not all of those forenamed scourges?
No. No, there is none alive but has smarted inone degree or other,
even from the King to the beggar. 

Ergo,
we are all sinners.

To make it further appear that the Lord is angry
with us for our sins.
Have there not been strange comets seen in the air,
prodigies, fights on the seas,
marvellous tempests and storms on the land?
All these are eminent tokens of God's anger to sinners,
yet that's one all.
Has not Nature altered her course so much
that women framed of pure flesh and blood
bring forth ugly and deformed monsters,
and contrariwise,
beasts bring forth human shapes
contrary to their kind?


HAS NOT the Lord suffered the Devil
to ramble about like a roaring lion
seeing to devour us?

Has not a crew of wicked witches,
together with the Devil's assistance,
done many mischiefs
in Norfolk, Suffolk and Essex,
and other parts of our kingdom?

Whereof some were executed
at Chelmsford in Essex last
to the number of fourteen,
and many more imprisoned
to this day,
and by the voice of people,
there are some in Stepney Parish
now in question about witchcraft.

Being persons of eminence,
their names must as yet be concealed,
but time will bring truth to light.

One thing more of the witches
which has not been yet printed
was thus:

On Wednesday last,
July 30,
being fast day 
at a town called Soffam in Norfolk,
at the house of Peter Smith,
about four a'clock in the afternoon,
came a woman
seeming to be some great gentlewoman
or lady on horseback
who knocking at the door 
desired to come in,
there being in the house nobody
but one servant maid,
who told her that the master and dam
with the rest of the household
were at the church,
and that she durst let in nobody
till such time the sermon was done.

Whereat the gentlewoman
commanded her
to fetch her some of the best beer 
in the house.

The maid replied,

that there was but one sort of beer
in the house, 
and that
she would not meddle with
till her master came from church.

The gentlewoman
bade her to give her
some of the bacon
that was boiling in the pot.

Whereat the maid began to tremble,
and withal marvelled much 
how she should come to know
what meat was in the pot,
and therewithal
lift up her hands crying,

The Lord deliver me from all witches.

Said the gentlewoman,

See thou look well
to thy beer and thy swine's flesh!

Presently seemed to mount her horse
over the top of the barn
and so vanished.

When the man and his servants
were come from church,
they found the maid trembling and quaking
in a mighty sweat, 
being not able to speak to them
for the space of two hours,
but having recovered her strength and speech,
she told them how the gentlewoman
had talked with her, 
and what answer she made,
and of her sudden departure.

And of her going into the cellar for beer, 
the casks were broken, 
and all the beer in the room.

Then the maid remembered
how the woman bade her 
have a care of her beer and swine's flesh,
went straightway into the barten,
where she found three of her master's fat hogs
crying and laying out their tongues,
and so they died.


JULY 30, Soffam,
a known witch in Suffolk,
not above two miles from Clare,
met with a woman great with child
coming from the bakehouse
with a cake under her arm.

Said the witch,

Give me thy cake!

The woman
broke it in the middle,
and offered her one part,
which the witch refused,
and said,
as she had broken the cake,
so should the child be broken
in her body.

And immediately
the woman went home,
and was delivered of two lumps of flesh.


IT IS likewise certified
by many of good quality and worth
that at the last assizes in Norfolk
there were forty witches 
arrainged for their lives,
and twenty executed.

And that they have done
very much harm in that country,
and have prophesied the downfall
of the King and his army,
and that Prince Robert
shall be no longer shot-free,
with many strange and unheard of things
that shall come to pass. 

These
and many more suchlike evils
have of late been done in the country,
as is affirmed by good sufficient authors,
as shall be related hereafter.

And now 
I return and tell you
of some strange news nearer home. 


JULY 28, 
at a place called Ratcliffe Highway,
near unto London
at the sign of the Three Arrows,
dwelt a woman named Mistress Hart,
who lived and was well beloved
of her neighbours.
She was religiously given,
honest in behaviour,
courteous in her speech,
and well qualified in her actions.

This woman,
being with child,
would oftentimes say
that she was mightily troubled
with what she bore in her womb.

As well she might be,
for on the 28. day of July last,
about six of the clock in the morning, 
she fell stongly in labour,
and therewithal sent for the midwife,
whose name is Mistress Bullock,
and other of her neighbours
to come to her labour,
who through God's assistance
brought her to a safe labour.

The infant being brought into the world,
the midwife and the rest of the women
having taken a view of it,
perceived it to be the strangest mishapen monster
that ever they look'd on,
or heard tell of. 

It was both he and she,
born without hands and feet or legs, 
one ear, 
and that grew in the nexk,
and where the legs and arms should have been, 
there grew pieces of flesh,
and no bones nor joints.

This deformed monster was born alive,
but it lived not long.
The woman is yet living.

This does the Lord
daily send wonders into the world,
thereby to put us in mind of our sins,
and move us to repentance.


ONE STRANGE RELATION more I have to mention,
and so conclude,
and that is this:

In Lombard Street,
in a goldsmith's house,
a cat brought forth a monstrous kitten
which was shapen like a human creature,
and the other part monster-like.

The manner of the form was thus:

It had eight feet upon one body,
and two tails.
His paws were like a child's hands,
and never a head,
but one great eye placed in the body
where the head should be.


THUS have I related unto you
such news which is known to be as true as strange.
God in his mercy
give us all a sight of our sins,
and grant us grace to acknowledge them,
and amend our lives. 


FINIS. 





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