My Familiar Imp, Madge of Wakefield.

 

Chapter III.

After Robin the Cobbler
had taken his first sleep
he awaked
and turning himself on the other side
he sent for his bedfellow
but she was not there
and having all the bedroom to himself
he wondered about the passages
which had happened to him the night before
therewithall he bethought himself
how he might use a means to get away 
before the old witch
his new-made landlady
came back again to him
for he supposed she had gone forth
to fetch company to cut his throat
but whilst he was thus thinking
in came the old woman with three more of her disciples
with every one of them a light torch in her hand
crying out all at once
they would be revenged on Robin the Cobbler
for all his whore-hunting tricks

These four female witches
could transform themselves into any human shape
at their own pleasure
so she Robin took to be his mother-in-law
brough in an ugly bear at her heels
another brought a ravening wolf
and the third brought a sharp long broad knife

Poor Robin
although the weather was cold
and the bedclothes very thin
yet he was hot enough
for being in a stinking fear
he covered himself over 
head and ears
all save one hole was in the coverlid
he now and then closely peep'd out
but dare not stir for his life

But now begins the game

The grand witch of the company
otherwise called the landlady of the house
put her hand under the bed
and pulled out a tabor and pipe
and played such a fit
it lasted till it was within two hours of day
all this while the other three witches
danc'd the Irish Hay
with their heels upwards

Meantime poor Robin the Cobbler
lay a-bed
and bepissed himself
till at last two quarts
run through the bed
upon the ground
whether it were done for joy
or for fear
I'll leave to other such as himself
to consider of

But when the music was ended
the bear began to roar
and the wolf began to howl for food

Then said the old witch

I have in the house
the bravest breakfast
for your two familiars
that they have feasted on ever
since they devoured 
the two damnable whores
which were bewitched
as they rode in a coach
towards a bawdy house in London
and now since witches
have power of none
but swearers and cursers
thieves and dissemblers
pimps bawds and panders
whores and whore-hunters
and such like manner of people
let us make the best use of our time we may
and now you shall see what a gallant prize
I have lighted upon by chance

There was a merry disposed cobbler
which dwelling not far from the Town of Romney
who was everyday used to drink
swagger swear and domineer
and oftentimes he would say
he car'd not a turd for all the witches in the world
and he had a trick to defend himself 
from the power of witches
which was by washing his hands
and saying his prayers every morning
before he went forth out of doors
although he served God in the morning
he served the Devil ere night
for there was hardly one day in the week
but he would go a-whoring
and oftentimes he would entice honest wenches to sin
by his dissembling speeches
and his false forwearing himself
making them believe
if he got them with child
he would marry them
amongst the rest
he got three widows' daughters with child
all in one night
making every one of them believe
swearing he would marry them the morrow after
which he never did intend
but at last
Goodwife Webb the widow
forc'd him to marry her daughter
which being done
the other two wenches he had gotten with child
being delivered brought him their two children to keep

So as he got them all three with child in one night
so they brought him three children to keep in one day

These things he thought we witches had not known
but my imps spent not their time in vain
for I every night sent forth my familiar imp
Madge of Wakefield
in the likeness of a black cat
which told me everything Robin the Cobbler did do

But the archest piece of roguery
that ever he did in all his life
was done to a widow woman
in the Isle of Thanet
for he promis'd her marriage
and made her sell her widow's estate
for four-and-twenty pound
and told her
if she would lend him the money
to buy him leather next
and wish'd if he did not do
according to his promise
he might be torn in pieces with wolves and bears
but he never came back to the widow again

And last of all he run away 
from his wife and three children
and now he lies under that coverlid

When the other three witches heard this discovery
they all leap'd for joy
and the three familiar spirits
which went in the shape of a wolf
a bear and a black cat
were ready to tear the witches to pieces for victuals
they were so hungry
then said one to the rest

Seeing he wished he might be devoured by wolves and bears
he shall have his wish
he shall presently be cut in quarters
the wolf shall have his heart liver and lungs
for his breakfast
the bear shall have his paunch and bowels
and the cat shall have his privy members
to gnaw upon

Nay

quoth the older witch

it shall not be so
for he shall not have so pleasant a death
as you speak of
but we will have a little more sport with him
before he dies

That very word
procured some comfort 
to Robin's languishing spirits
for he had rather choose to lead a sorrowful life
than to die a sudden death

And now to be brief in the matter
they pull'd the bedclothes from off him
and made him stand up stark naked
as ever he was born before them

The wolf bit him by the throat
the bear bit him by the bum
and the cat bit him by the members
and everyone drew blood of him
but did him no great harm
at that time

Now

said the old witch

we have mark'd you for our own

and therewithal 
she passed sentence upon him
he should have three days' punishment
for his former offences
and afterwards he was to be eaten up alive

The first of the three days
he was to be transformed into the shape of a fox
and to be chased with dogs 
from morning till night

The second day
he was to be a riding nag
to carry the witch whither she pleased

The third day
he was to be an owl
to fly from one place to another
all the day long

As soon as the day appeared
Robin the Cobbler was to be a fox
and so out the doors
they set him running
had transform'd themselves
into the shape of dogs
followed close at his heels
every time they overtook him
they bit him by the buttocks
and nipped him most devilishly
for they had no mercy in their teeth

The next day
they transform'd him into the shape of a horse
so the witches got upon his back
three of them at a time
and rid him over hills and mountains
through rivers and ponds
through all sorts of waters
thick and thin
worst of all
they rid him through so many bushes
brambles and briars
till they tore the very skin
from the flesh of him
so the whoremaster's blood of his 
run from him in many places
yet were not his sorrows at an end
nor no man knows when they will be

The third day
they made an owl of him
who flying up and down
from tree to tree 
at noontime of the day
ctying

whu
whu
whu

the birds came thick and threefold
about him
wondering most strangely
to see an owl abroad by daylight
wherefore to fulfill the old proverb
they all fell upon him 
like pies upn an owl
and to be brief
they pluck'd his feathers
broke his wings
and pick'd out one of his eyes

This done
the grand witch
consulting with the rest of the witches
saying Robin the Cobbler
had done enough of any conscience 
for his wenching tricks
and so they turn'd him into the shape of a swan

Last of all
they withdrew their enchanting spells
and so Robin the pitiful Cobbler
became a man again
but before he departed
they made him kneel down
and kiss every one of their fleshy parts
and therewithal they parted housefold