God knows, for I am Half-Confounded.

 

Friday 15. November, 1583
at Lubeck

Kelly - The cloud appears and opens, so that the sword may be seen.

Dee - O Lord, deal mercifully with us as thy children to be corrected with rod or whip, and not with thy enemies with sword to cut or wound us. Let not Satan force thee to justice more mightily than they fatherly goodness can incline thee to show mercy upon us.

Kelly - A hand comes and nips off an inch off the tip of the sword, and some of the rage are fallen down; some hanging on the hilts of the sword, and some are thrust through with the sword. Now the sword is shut up again in the cloud.

Dee - Have mercy on us, O Lord, and deal with us as thy younglings and novices.

Kelly - Now come in an eleven all like noblemen. One of them has a regal cap, and a gown faced with sables; the cap is like a Polonian cap, but trimmed up with rich sables.

Now comes one and brings a very rich chair, beset with precious stones. 

Four of the company set down this chair for that principal man. He that brought the chair went away; they all do low obedience to this principal. He sits down and puts his gown over; he is a goddlier man than the Lord AL. 

The four pluck a thing like a canopy over the chair, and they put a round cushion under his feet. This principal speaks as follows.

A Voice - Pluck up thy heart and be merry, pine not thy soul away with inward groanings, for I will open unto thee the secrets of nature and the riches of the world, and withal give thee such direction that shall deliver thee from many infirmities, both of body and mind.

Ease thee of thy tedious labour, and settle thee where thou shalt have comfort.

Dee - Thanks be given unto the Highest, now and ever of all his creatures. 

A Voice - Why do thou ( . . . ) within they thought? Have thou not need of counsel?

Dee - Yes, God knows, for I am half-confounded. 

A Voice - Then first d ( . . . ) with thyself to rest thee for this winter. 

Secondly, open thy mind to desire such things as may advance thy credit, and enrich thy family. Reap unto thee many friends, and lift thee up to honour, for I will stir up the minds of learned men, the profoundest in the world that they shall visit thee. And I will disclose unto you such things as shall be wonderful, and of exceeding profit. Moreover, I will put to my hands, and help your proceedings that the world may talk of your wisdom hereafter. 

Therefore wander not farther into unknown places, contagious, the very seats of death for thee, and thy children and such as are thy friends. If thou enquire of me where and how, everywhere and how thou wilt thyself. For thou shall forthwith become rich, and thou shall be able to enrich Kings, and to help such as are needy. Was thou not born to use the commodity of this world? Were not all things for man's use?

Dee - Will you give me leave to speak?

A Voice - What can thou speak hereunto? Will thou thank me this?

Dee - All thanks be unto the King of Glory, &c.

Is it your meaning that we shall stay here, and go no further with the Lord Albert Laski?

A Voice - Yes, in the summer. When it is more fair.

Dee - I bessech you, where would you that we should make our ( . . . ) this winter?

A Voice - Where you will. Are you so unwise to go with him now. Let him go before, and provide for himself that he may the better provide for you. The weather will be hard, and the travel unfit for children; if thou covet to live in ease, heap not up thy wives' sorrow.

Dee - I desire to live in quiet, that my spirit may the better attend to the service of God.

A Voice - Well, tarry you, and my promise shall be quickly performed. I will not halt with you. How say you, sirs?

Kelly - He speaks to his company, who make curtsies and say nothing.

Dee - I beseech you to appoint an apt place. This you see is no fit place.

A Voice - I will stir thee up such friends as shall content thee. As for dwelling places thou shall bestow them. Well, you are contented.

Dee - Is it your will that in this town we should part from the Lord Albert Laski?

A Voice - What should you do else? Are you madmen? Will you run headlong into danger? Willfully?

Dee - I beseech you, shall this be nothing prejudicial to our former doings, and order already taken and decreed for our going together?

A Voice - What, is this contrary to reason? Well, you are content?

Dee - As the will of the Highest is, so is mine and none other.

A Voice - Sirrah, do you see this sword? I will be a surety for this - I warrent thee - also.

Dee - 

A Voice - Your brother is clapped up in prison. How like you that? Your housekeeper, I mean.

Dee - And why I pray you?

A Voice - For that, that thou may be ashamed of. 

Dee - What is that?

A Voice - They examine him. They say that thou have hid divers secret things. 

As for thy books, thou may go look them at leisure. It may be that thy house may be burnt for a remembrance of thee too. Well, if they do, so it is; if not, as thou wilt. I have told thee my fancy and given thee my counsel, offered thee my help and desired to do thee good. The choice is thine.

Dee - O Lord, the author of all truth and director of such as put their trust in thee. I most humbly beseech thee to consider these premises, thus to me propounded. If they be true and from thee, confirm them; if they be illusions and not from thee, disprove them. For hardly in my judgement, they do or can with our former precepts and order taken by thee. 

A Voice - Judge the truth by the last action.

Dee - O Lord, what is that action?

A Voice - Wednesday's actions.

This cloud - said the voice of the Lord - is put betwixt us and you. What therefore may come between? Now judge you.

Dee - I suspect the whole apparition of the eleven to be an illusion. O Lord, confirm my judgement or disprove it.

A Voice - The Spirit of the Lord is not amongst you.

Dee - What misery are we then in? O Lord, mercy.

A Voice - Dispute not with God where whoredom is great.

Dee - O Lord, this whoredom we understand not.

A Voice - Pray daily with repentance, that this cloud may be taken away, and this sword diminished. For the seal cannot be broken until Satan have done his uttermost, yea, the uttermost of his malice, for it is granted him and he must strike. But pray you unto God that the sword may be made shorter or plucked out of the hilt, that in striking he want power. For your sin is abominable, and a sevenfold offence in the sight of the Lord.

Dee - What this whoredom is - God knows - we understand not perfectly. If the Spirit of God be not with us, how can our prayers be acceptable?

A Voice - Thus says the Lord, Turn unto me and be sorry for your sins, and let my angels be sitness thereof. For I swear by myself that my justice shall hang over you, and when I punish you next, I will raze you from the face of the earth. Therefore, vow yourselves unto me, and make your vessels clean, for your habitations in my sight are nothing, neither is the substance whereof I framed you acceptable. I am the Spirit of Truth and Understanding, and will not be dashed in pieces with worldlings. Neither use I to dwell in defiled places, for my sanctuary is holy, and my gates are without spot. And with me there dwells no unrighteousness.

Dee - Lord, is it they will we shall go with Albert Laski to Lasco?

A Voice - The Lord says, What I have said is true; who rebukes me, saying my words are untrue? The correction of him that reigns is mighty, who has numbered it but to his destruction? Be you holy, that my hand may be weak.

Dee - O Lord, the fear of they punishmeny astonishes my heart, and uncertainty of it in time and place does also increase my grief, &c.

A Voice - The fool says in his heart, O how great is thy punishment over me. Teach me the place of thy correction, and where thou will chastise me. Who is he that desries to meet Hod his vengeance, or the punishment of him that confounds the damned? Make your hearts clean, and wipe the sin from amongst you, and desire to be forgiven, for miserbale are they that meet with vengeance or that know the place where she takes up her harbour.

Dee - Gloria, honor, laus et gratiarum actio perennis sit Deo nostro omnipotenti; nobis vero a Deo Patre, propter Jesum Christum in Spiritu Sancto, sit misericordia, pax et consolatio in via virtutis et veritatis. Amen.